For 6 months we labored side by side all day and into the night. So much time together. So much work and struggle and triumph and laughter and strife together. Always together.
Yet what a sissy I am to be grieving a little, in his absence now. His new job has been so good for him. He goes off happily each morning, oblivious to the little pit of emptiness lying deep in my soul watching him go. He comes home smiling each evening, obviously reveling once again in the breadwinner role. I'm so happy for him. Yet this morning, walking through the dining room I caught a glimpse of the empty porch swing and felt a little wave panic (?), grief (?).
Each spring and summer morning after the first pressing chores of the day were done we would meet on that porch swing, drink coffee and discuss plans for the remainder of the day. It was nice. And now it's no more. For the foreseeable future, Joe will get up and go to work, as most men do. That brief time in our lives is gone for now. And I wonder why I spent so much of it, moody and brooding, and anxious over things past and to come rather than just enjoying his company and companionship and help. And boy do I miss the help! But it's mostly his company I crave now. Ah, hindsight.
But this is a good transition. Just takes some getting used to, is all.